Stepping Through the Autumnal Equinox

Early morning in the forest. I meet Diana, goddess of the hunt. A cozy blanket, protectively wrapped around my heart, is keeping me warm. My bare feet deeply connected to every leaf, twig, and drop of morning dew they touch. The rays of sunset flicker through the thick network of trees and leaves. I am both, warmly illuminated, and safely engulfed in the shadows.

I feel my wolf close, softly bringing her power to my essence. Coyote is dancing around us, casting a gentle smile to my lips. The spiders weave their nests, holding up a mirror for my purpose. The squirrels are continuing the work. Diana opens her arms, her heart’s embrace radiates so forcefully towards me, I surrender the shields of my soul.

Many years ago, I sent her away. In an attunement she asked me to fire an arrow at a stag, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She showed me that the stag would not be hurt, he would have turned into butterflies before my arrow could pierce him. I still declined. I just wasn’t ready.
At that time, Diana bowed out. Peacefully left me to my journey. She was the first guide I had ever turned away. That was a massive step for me back then.

Today, my warrior essence has found it’s place in the fractles of my being. Understanding that the fierce protector, the determinded provider, and the soothing nurturer are all vital parts of the maternal archetype I have come to embody on this journey. I have sharpened my focussed and sunk deeper into the care I offer within the same period of time. My boundaries have become so fierce, the love flowing through me has found ways to illuminate my deepest darkness. I am no longer afraid of my power. And I bow in front of my soul, yearning for continuous growth into all I am here to be. I am ready to shoot my arrow.

As we touch forheads, a divine download opens the door to past lives. I remember the betrayal to my soul when I went along with the mainstream message. I remember the cost of speaking up for what I believed in. I remember the helplessness of being turned away, not being allowed to help. I feel my old beliefs shatter into a million pieces. The air in my lungs is sharp and cold. I am drowing on dry land.
Diana’s voice sounds softly in the midst of my imminent fall.

‚You can do hard things‘.

A lioness roar moves through my system as I drop to the ground. I remember what has been burried so deeply:

‚I can do hard things. With grace.‘

Memories of ancient councils flow into my consciousness. Learning to lead in times where my words manifested into instant action. Learning the value of integrity and making choices that came at a dear cost – but rippled improvements into the lives of so many. I remember what it was like to earn my place at the table. And the innate worth of my opinion. Because they had been formed the hard way. Because they were centered around love. Because they were unafraid of the consequences.

Diana reaches to her back to gift me my sacred bow and arrow. With delicate details, silver elements weave around the oak wood. A glimmering string magically connects the ends of the bow. The arrow both strong and flexible. Drenched in a liquid I’m unable to identify.

Diana lifts me up. She softly moves me into the direction of the stag. I understand what is about to happen. Through my heart I see through the interdimensional web that unfolds in and around me right this moment. I gently hold my breath, the stag at the center of my aim. With a shot between the eyes, I set its spirit free. We say our prayers for its soul. We give gratitude for what its sacrifice has gifted me.

Though it takes me a few moments of allowing the weeping tears flowing down my cheeks, I feel peace. I understand the interconnectedness of all of our lifeforce. The belonging and sacrifices we bring into each other’s existence. I see in front of my eyes the people, thoughts, and practices I am releasing from my journey. We have served each other well. A new eon is on the horizon.

The soft touch of my elemental family whipes my tears. The tribes are gathering. It is time to release myself from mourning and to bring celebration deeper into the essence of my soul. I have chosen a difficult path once again. I have outgrown who I thought to be. I am held in my own rhythm of life. It has all been worth it.

Stepping through this autumnal Equinox, I am facing some hard conversations in my community. I am releasing security and reliability for these coming months. And that is okay. I can do hard things. Integrity and alignment are carriers of abundance through deep trust.

Harvest season is upon us. We are invite to celebrate the blessings of the sacrifices we have made this year. The work we have put in. We are stepping into spiritual death as the fall season opens its gates. At the cost of the warm summer days, but with the reward of the thinning of the veil. Our fears outnumbered by our ancestors. Our hopes called in by the generations to come. In balance between the light and darkness, we must learn to let go in celebration. Something I’m still working on.

Can you name 10 blessings you have gotten from people who are no longer in your life? How about 50? Challenge accepted?

I love you.


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