Ahimsa is a big part of our communication. We tell each other what we like, we share our love for each other. We compliment and encourage. We say ‚I forgive you‘. We also erase violence from our communication. I never assume bad intent. When the little ones drive me out of my mind, I remember that that is definitely not their intent. That may patience is running low and there are multiple reasons that have nothing to do with me explaining why they are bahiving in the ways they are. I recognise that on a different day, their behavious might not have the same effect on me. And knowing that their actions are not out to harm me, I make it my perogative to never shame or accuse. I don’t ever say ‚bad girl‘ and I avoid saying ‚good girl‘. When I begin a sentence with you are… I make well sure that the following words are either positive or encouraging growth.
I consider myself very strict. I have super clear boundaries and rules. They are reasonable rules of course. Not for the sake of rules but to keep everyone safe and our needs met. When my rules are realistic and appropriate, there very rarely get broken.
If there is a fight, I listen. They listen. When they get overwhelmed, we connect. They are safe in non-violence and that is non-negotiable.
Satya comes alongside Ahimsa. When they ask me something, I answer in a way acceptable to their developmental stage. If I don’t know how to answer the question honestly, I tell them that I will need to think about it before answering at a later stage. They tell me when they don’t like my outfit. They tell me when they LOVE the smell of my scarf. Our love for each other is not dependent on things we like or dislike.
Honesty is important to me not just with little people. I tell my friends when they have done something hurtful, they tell me if something didn’t sit right. I compliment healers who’s work I admire. I also reply truthfully if someone asks me about a modality I consider harmful or somehwat limited. I stick to the truth in arguments by saying how I feel rather than making claims about the other person’s intent. I don’t blame. I state behaviours that I can or cannot tolerate. I set my boundarys and enforce them, always independent of a person’s value or worth! I allow my friends to speak honestly on my life. They honesty is not violent even when they say something I don’t want to hear. I have yet to find a person who shares their feelings to offend me. Though I do have a big problem with people selling their opinions as universal truth, mixed with a compot of blame, shame, and hostility. Truth isn’t harsh (at least most of the time). Suppressed judgement and false niceness, however, often backfire dramatically.
I so whole-heartedly believe that hitting, shaming, power play, and punishments have no role in my life – and especially in raising the ones to walk this planet next. It doesn’t take a yogi to see that.